The Con-Artist And The Cynic
The con-artist's trap is a noose to the cynic
who will try it on safely while he stands on two feet.
To understand his position is all he is after,
but his enemy measures the price of deceit:
"If you admit that it fits, you can have it for free,
though we'll both profit more should you choose to jump."
All he wants to know is what size will fit all,
and to do this he must find out whose neck is most plump.
The cynic defies him by heaving a sigh,
keeping hidden inside him his very last breath.
Without any air, his neck loses its size,
and he feigns a display of disgraceful death.
The con-artist watches the cynic go pale:
"How easy it is to fool those with false hope!"
But the cynic's alive and more happy than ever
since he knows he has shortened the con-artist's rope.
I Once Thought...
I once thought I swam with sharks
while I did laps in the pool.
I once thought that every teacher
lived right there at the school.
I once thought magicians were mean
when they asked "Is this your card?"
I once thought I could use The Force
if I just tried real hard.
I once thought I was a Nihilist
but I only fled remorse.
I once thought I'd ignore my conscience
but it got confused and hoarse.
I once thought that "hammiedowns"
described the clothes I wore.
I once thought that my parents
never ever swore.
I once thought that watching Barney
was the pinnacle of shame.
I once thought to tease a red-head
was only just a game.
I once thought that my pen-pal was
just one more piece of ass.
I once thought she'd wait some more
for us to meet at last.
I once thought the best sound there was
was my own dad's guffaw.
I once thought that all Republicans
loved to chew on straw.
I once thought all drug users
should be told what to do.
I once thought that cannabis
was really bad for you.
I once thought that teenagers
all lived life to the max.
I once thought The New York Times
could only print the facts.
I once thought that "lip-to-lip"
was more heartfelt than a "kiss."
Guess that proverb's mostly true in saying,
"ignorance is bliss."