Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The Tao of Chicago

If you overesteem great men,
people become powerless.
If you overvalue possessions,
people begin to steal.

-- Lao-tzu
(via  S. Mitchell's translation)

This is a very political blog entry and it's not going to have much sources. I can't deny it sounds pretty crazy, but then again, until recently it was only schizophrenics who believed in wiretapping. What follows is an account of recent events of people responding and interfering to my life that is unsettling.

Simply put, someone is fucking with me. A friend of mine was assaulted and the next day I had a sign flashed at me. On occasion, things will go missing from my house without anyone entering. Things will turn up in my pocket that I didn't put there. I'll hear a car honk, turn around and a dollar will appear in my back pocket. It's been happening to other people as well. My dad's credit card switched to his front pocket, where he never keeps it. One day a large amount of weed was left in my dresser. I'll go to a theater and a pair of eye glasses will disappear from my pocket only to return after the movie is over. There are phishing phone calls and emails to my loved ones, quite distressing.

Some very cold people are operating and it's becoming difficult to cope with day to day life. Left to my own thoughts, it's easy to be overwhelmed by this.

I am not a great man, I'm a disappointing person in the long run, as this blog title suggests. Though I don't exactly pray to a god, I do feel offended that power is wielded with the same insensitivity. It's tempting to guess the motives. What was I doing before these occurrences happened? Am I being punished or rewarded?

It is tempting to flatter myself that I am being bothered due to my political beliefs, or even my occasional drug use, but given the nature of people it is just as likely that someone is doing what they're told, making a paycheck. Ritualized behavior is familiar to me, and it can easily be done out of habit or personal ideal. In the same vein, it would be a relief to be afraid only of myself. I would love to retire into a strange belief in aliens, but I'm too medicated for that kind of delusion.

I'm too sad to learn a subversive lingo and honestly don't think hushed gossip is the kind of thing that stops this. I just want to tell people this is going on.The word fascism creeps to my mind, though I believe the people doing this likely consider themselves revolutionaries.

Without putting it too bluntly, there is a time to remember that we are trying to live with the world as it is, and it becomes difficult to do this when the intimate spaces and people around you are baited and slapped. Being a human being is hard enough.